Hot Mess, eh? GOOD! Now you can go after what you REALLY want!

Crazy happenings! Unfortunate circumstances! A hot mess! (That's what I've heard women call it) Call it what you will. If you live long enough, you are guaranteed to hear the phrase.  And a hot mess seems to be appropriate.. The older you get, the tougher it can seem. Why? We think of it that way. It's simple perception.

However you take it, such can hit you any time, at any age. I just think of the  transition from young adult to my ageing years because of the transformation I experienced during that period of my life. I entered my next phase of living kicking and screaming and even pouting because of some things that happened.

It was during this time that I was taught the lesson of my life. What's that? Learn to take full responsibility for what's going on with you or you let your unfortunate experiences beat the crap out of you. It's a choice.

I know. I know. How insensitive can I be! Right?

Here you are trying to find ways to bring betterment to what's happening in your life and you meet me. And who am I but a colorful, costumed, clown who doesn't know what's going down.

Well, I'll be the first to tell you to see your unfortunate circumstances for what they are: A chance for change or a way to create betterment in your situation.

How's that, you ask? You don't even know what I'm up against, let alone how to fix it!

Well, go look above at my picture again. Yes, that's me. I am changing, right? I may look like a clown, but I assure you, I am quite serious. And sane. That's why I also may look bright-eyed, enthused, and purposeful. Whatever perception you choose to use, that's on you. 

(But, yes, I'm weird. I admit it. Albeit, this is who I truly am. A midlife "hot mess" helped me embrace my true self.)

Beforehand, I spent much of my life...Playing Small!

I was too reluctant to express myself as I really wanted to. That's what Playing Small means.

So how did I get past this? How did I move from shy, quiet, uneventful Eddie Smalls to become bold enough to publicly proclaim superherodom status and bring you into my own personal world?

That's why this website is called It is born of my journey through my "hot mess" of a life to becoming my super self.  It is what helped me become a professional life coach who wants to help those experiencing like difficulties with their lives.

That's my Super Self. Or at least part of it. 

So allow me, someone who has experienced several "hot messes" and counseled many others who have lived through theirs, to guide you through yours.

Yes, I'm here as a helpmate to you and people like yourself. 

Specifically, I am Eddie Smalls aka Manifest Man. I help heart-centered, spirit-led women experiencing a "hot mess" rise above their circumstances so they may go after their REAL desires.

(Wow. Now that was a mouthful, wasn't it?)

I didn't plan put up a website or write a program to address "hot mess" issues with women. Circumstances arose that prompted me to jump up and say, "Omigosh! Halleluia to the highest!"

Now twice I have said I help women. Did you notice that? That's not a typo. Most of my clients have been female. Why?

My business and professional coach asked me the same thing once. It was a hotseat episode on a virtual call online. He asked: "Eddie, why do you only work with women?" Then he waited. I gave no response. He then said, "People will want to know this, Eddie."

Then I told him a story of tremendous pain. How my parents separated and eventually divorced when I was 7. How my mother needed my help, but I was too young and inexperienced to give it. How she, 9 years later, was married to a lunatic. How I sent her a bus ticket to leave him. Then he killed her. Yes, it was a story of domestic violence gone bad. I balled my eyes out the whole time, disrupting the call. The people "oooooooo" and "aaaahhhhhh."

I felt terrible revealing that truth, talking negative about my mother. But this is the truth behind my motivation to help women empower themselves. I lived to do this. My journey took me here.

Yes, it was a "eureka" moment. I knew I had to teach what I had learned.

And what had I learned?

  • How to stop playing small;
  • How to dump emotional baggage;
  • How to deal with a "hot mess;
  • How to become my best self or, as I call it, My Super Self.

That's why I opened up with a "good, now you can go after what you REALLY want!"

I woke up, so to speak, to a new way of thinking and a new world of possibilities. I wanted more. But what?

As my journey ensued, I found:

  • My life wasn't the same;
  • My gut quivered and needed to be tamed; 
  • A journey of discovery I traveled;
  • My life unraveled; 
  • I was moved;
  • I became somebody new and improved.

(Yeah. I know. That's a bit dramatic. Sounds more like a brand of household cleaner or laundry detergent, right? Eddie Smalls>New And Improved!)

Well, I did become improved. I was inspired to undergo a transformation. All to my betterment.

When you get inspired, when you get a calling, when a cause rocks your world, you are compelled to act.

Now, let's go back to my suggestion of a chance for change or betterment of yourself. That's what a "hot mess" will do, if you see it right.  It's a checkpoint in your life. It gives you pause to "check yourself before you wreck yourself" (As we used to say back in the day).

And guess what? A "hot mess" can show up in your life anytime. Childhood woes. Teenage craziness.    Meltdowns in your early 20's, late 30's, middle-age years, old age. Yes, anytime. As long as you are alive and kicking you are prone to experience a "hot mess." 

Gone unchecked, this can really turn you upside down. It generally depends on whether or not you recognize it for what it is and adequately address it.

No doubt, concerns about your own situation have brought you to this website. Well, here are some things I learned about a "hot mess" situation:

4 Important Things To Know About A Midlife Crisis:

  1. It can affect both men and women;
  2. It can sneak up on you;
  3. You can live in deep denial about it for a good while; and, finally;
  4. You can become your own worst enemy in its duration.

In fact, by the time you get around to actually addressing yours, much time can have passed. 

And, of course, that means you have been procrastinating and gotten in a total "hot mess".

Then comes other things I learned, which are swirling emotions, like

  • Overwhelm, frustration and irritability;
  • Sadness, guilt, and shame;
  • Self-pity, self-hatred and regret.

And REGRET can be the toughest one. Such emotions can keep you in a holding pattern for years.

Yes, years!

Any of this seem familiar? Are such echoes ringing in your head? 

All right!  What if I do feel some of this? Now whatyou ask.

Well, don't panic. This could mark the beginning of your next best years

How's that? you may be wondering.

This is your chance to change, better yourself, find out what opportunities of personal growth are available to you.

This "hot mess" of yours represents what you don't want. So let's reverse the polarity and help you go after what you REALLY want.

So. Have I...

  • Stirred up your emotions enough?
  • Brought you to a point of powerful curiosity?
  • Made you angry, even?

If so, GOOD! GOOD! Sho Nuff GOOD!

I hope you are sick n' tired of reading what I'm giving you here. Your situation being whatever it is, where is your thinking now? Are you even sick n' tired of being sick n' tired?

Again, I say, GOOD! GOOD! Sho Nuff GOOD!

Because a "hot mess" begs your attention and some action. If you are moved to act, keep moving about this website and do what you are inspired to do. The opportunity for your betterment is here. Jump on it. Be moved. Get some satisfaction by taking inspired action.

And, of course, if you are inspired enough to need my help, I invite you, now, to use my appointment section at the bottom of this page. Sign up for a FREE "Hot Mess To Super Life Strategy Session."

This is only a discovery session. No  obligations intended. It is designed to explore your situation and see if my style and services are a good fit for your needs. So do what your spirit is telling you.

Peace love joy and happiness and all the good stuff that comes with it to you. It's a blessing to have connected.